{"id":1124,"date":"2015-02-07T05:11:59","date_gmt":"2015-02-07T04:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/?p=1124"},"modified":"2024-03-07T19:59:40","modified_gmt":"2024-03-07T18:59:40","slug":"deal-passive-aggressive-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/deal-passive-aggressive-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Passive-aggressive people are\u00a0deceitful in such a way that, \u00a0you hardly notice if you are being praised or envied\u00a0i.e. they use sarcasm to win others.\u00a0Ever\u00a0had an encounter with them?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Passive aggressive people with anger in disguise, express displeasure over certain things and with the aim of getting away with it.\u00a0<em>&#8220;You&#8217;re being told what&#8217;s happening isn&#8217;t happening, and there&#8217;s something very withholding about the interaction. You know something is going on, and he&#8217;s denying it.&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0explains <strong>Scott Wetzler, Ph.D<\/strong>., author of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0671870742\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0671870742&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=psychologyand-20&amp;linkId=VKHY3N35HEMLWNLG\">Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man<\/a><em>,<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0the\u00a0vice chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Montefiore Medical Center.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Passive aggressive behavior is being used to express anger in different, yet deceitful way. Generally, they are\u00a0not happy with you, but tend to challenge you with sugar-coated bitterness in a way\u00a0that will totally make you lost in the process of understanding their motive, while they try to<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">avoid direct conflict. When confronted for the\u00a0anger, they deny responsibility but already achieved their aim which is to leave you in confusion.<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-1126 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Passive-Agression.jpg\" alt=\"Passive-Agression\" width=\"333\" height=\"208\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/pmedia\/2015\/02\/Passive-Agression.jpg 384w, https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/pmedia\/2015\/02\/Passive-Agression-300x187.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Loriann Oberlin, MS, coauthor of\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1569243611\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1569243611&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=psychologyand-20&amp;linkId=WY3VF3SIJL4POQQP\">Overcoming Passive-Aggression<\/a>\u00a0also added that, <em>\u201cA passive-aggressive person is basically angry, but he or she is expressing anger in indirect ways\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In her\u00a0remark,\u00a0<strong>Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.,\u00a0<\/strong>explains some of the ways passive-aggressive people do criticize:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Oh, I hear you&#8217;ve managed to pull off another miracle.&#8221;<\/em> The problem with these kinds of comments is that if you try to confront them about the insult, you will be accused of not understanding, &#8220;I didn&#8217;t mean it that way&#8221; or of misinterpreting,<em> &#8220;You must have a problem to think that. I was just trying to compliment you. Sorry I didn&#8217;t word\u00a0it right to suit you.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>So, How do you deal with Passive-Aggressive People?<\/em><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The following tips will help you interact\u00a0with passive-aggressive people and never to let them tarnish your image.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: justify;\">Examine their Motive.<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The very first approach in dealing with passive-aggressive people is to take time in\u00a0examining their motive, study the phenomenon\u00a0and\u00a0their repeated utterances. You have to do this early enough in order not to fall for them permanently. Do they do this to make you feel bad only or to gain themselves some points?\u00a0Wetzler projected that:\u00a0<em>&#8220;Once you recognize it&#8217;s a sign of hostility, it emboldens you to deal with it.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: justify;\">Seize their reward.<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">The only thing that makes passive-aggressive people wanting to do more, is your regular response. And that is where their reward lies. Instead of giving them chance; cut short their expectations, by simply controlling your emotions while staying calm and keeping your replies simple. \u00a0<em>\u201cThe less reactive you are, the less fuel they have for their passive-aggression,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0says\u00a0Oberlin.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: justify;\">Confront and be Assertive<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">With calmness and while having your emotions checked, approach the <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1128 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Passive-agressive-person.jpg\" alt=\"Passive agressive person\" width=\"319\" height=\"263\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/pmedia\/2015\/02\/Passive-agressive-person.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.psychologyandi.com\/wp-content\/pmedia\/2015\/02\/Passive-agressive-person-300x247.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 319px) 100vw, 319px\" \/>passive-aggressive person and let the person\u00a0know you totally dislike their action and state\u00a0the consequences\u00a0the person\u00a0stand to get if the scenario repeat itself. Though, it will be hard to get passive-aggressive person to feel sorry for an action, but, you can achieve this while taking the fellow in consideration too. Don&#8217;t be harsh!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">According to\u00a0Wetzler, let the passive-aggressive person know the exact word or action that made you so angry, and never flash back to previous ones which would\u00a0only make total mess of your move.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>References:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"text-align: justify;\">Preston Ni, M.S.B.A.: <strong>How to Successfully Handle Passive-Aggressive People\u00a0<\/strong> &#8211;\u00a0 2014 Preston C.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: justify;\">Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.: <strong>CRAZY-MAKERS: PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE<\/strong> (page 5) &#8211;\u00a0 Excel At Life, LLC.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 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