Self-loathing: How to stop hating yourself

If you can’t manage your self-loathing, you’ll never become a better person! Almost everyone shows self-loathing i.e. the feeling of unworthiness.

Ever struggled and embattled your own life? Saying to yourself: I ought to look better than this. I don’t deserve to exist. I’m so lousy. Oh! I’m such a loser. I’ve never done anything right for once. If you can’t kill this feeling, then it’s time to manage it.

Self-loathing is a toxic pattern of thinking where you believe you’re unlovable, incompetent, and unsuccessful, and worthless. You undermine yourself with thoughts of inferiority. Self-loathing transforms to anger, opens door to other mental health disorders.

Having a low opinion of yourself is not ‘modesty.’ It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not ‘egotism.’ It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success.” ― Bobbe Sommer

On the other hand, some studies found out that self-loathing could also be used for motivation i.e. self-loathing leads you to your max potential. It signals to you that very thing in your life, that makes you unhappy; so you need to dig it out and conquer it. But, only few admit this.

In his own view and as written in the book, Compassion and Self Hate Theodore Isaac Rubin, MD and Psychoanalyst says “in order to be compassionate to others, we must learn to be compassionate to ourselves,” i.e. you have to accept your real self.

How to stop hating yourself

Followings are ways to manage and get past this shame.

Interrupt the Pattern

You need to device some tools of self-love to to shift your point of awareness, when the pattern of self-hate starts running through your mind i.e. echoing to you what you’ve done wrong. Tools like talking back / affirmations e.g. ‘I’m unique, wonderful and heading to greater heights.’ You can as well do something new at the very launch time of the pattern i.e. listening to music that touches your heart or going for a quick walk.

Quit Comparison

Wonder why you keep comparing yourself negatively to others around you. STOP! You are second to no one. Stop tagging yourself inferior to others, but wholeheartedly embrace your natural way of being.

Read also: Why Ostracism Hurts

“People with low self-esteem, are stuck with hostile, life-denying, continuously critical and attacking entities that they carry in their heads and they believe,” describes Anneli Rufus, the author of Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself

Adopt yourself and Increase Self-love

A study also found out that Self-hatred and self-love are two balancing elements. So, if you can’t easily reduce self-loathing, you can easily achieve self-love. All you have to do is to treat yourself as you would a small child, list the positive things about yourself, and visit them as daily routine.

Read also: 7 Ways to Manage your Frustration

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