Most people assume that they become a victim as the result of someone doing something to them. At the same time, many of these same people confuse being a victim with being victimized. What happens to you does not make you a victim. If someone physically abuses you, it is not what was done to you that made you the victim, it is the way you thought about what happened, that makes you into the victim. Or, to say it another way, what you chose to think about the experience of being victimized, that is what will determine whether you are a victim or a victor.
Some victims see themselves as having worked very hard to become a survivor. They often talk about, being a survivor of abuse/rape/molest. What does the word “survivor” bring up for you? Someone who has been washed up on the beach after a terrible storm where all was lost? Is the word survivor connected more with victim or victor?
People tend to see victims as poor, unfortunate individuals who have experienced trauma in their lives. Survivors of trauma are people who deserve your sympathy. They are people to feel sorry for. Which one are you choosing to be, victim or victor?
Ways You Could be Victimized
There are two ways in which you can be victimized, one external and one internal. External is when something happens to you. You can blame your victim status on what happened to you. Second: It is your own powerless-victim thinking that is creating your victim status. You may not see yourself as a victim because you have not been victimized by external forces, but as a victim you have lowered your personal power, your potential – your EQ.
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This second way is often more destructive because you do not recognize that the way you feel is because you have victimized yourself by the way you think.
For example, have you ever had something just suck the joy right out of your life? Or, have you ever had someone (including yourself) suck the joy right out of your life? If someone, something, or your own thinking can do it to you, then you are a victim. When you are a victim and the “somethings” and the “someones” in this world have the power over you. The result is that you are powerless, you are at their mercy (you poor thing).
The alternative is to accept that where you are is where you are, until you are willing to change. The first step to changing requires an awareness of what your powerless-thoughts are, so that you can change them.
When we reject who we are, We force ourselves to live with a person we consider unworthy. Or, more miserable yet, a person we hate.