He’s never interested in what you are saying, but nods every few seconds just to to make you think he’s following. He has no idea how to carry a conversation, and rarely share opinion in any conversation. Do these qualities really make one boring? Everyone claims to have ran into someone who is boring, we judge them even with the little knowledge we have.
Not every boring person is actually boring, your acts and what you say (The attitude of the observer) can also bore other people whom you may in-turn judge harshly. According to Psychologist Mark Leary’s research on Boredom in interpersonal encounters, content and style matter; “we can bore other people either by what we have to say or how we say it.”
In terms of attention, Psychologist John Eastwood, PhD, of York University in Toronto, described a boring person as one who doesn’t just have nothing to do.
“He or she wants to be stimulated, but is unable, for whatever reason, to connect with his or her environment — a state Eastwood describes as an ‘unengaged mind.’“
As explained, everyone has a distinct fascinating aspect of life to explore, it will only costs the observer the correct attitude to confirm the traits that make up a boring person.
I made my observations, and in accordance with the existing studies from renown psychologists; following tips would be of advantage to anyone in deciding what makes a person boring:
Performs Poorly on Tasks that Require Sustained Attention.
Boring people are easily prone to suffer the effects of unengaged mind. Researchers say boring people are usually found amidst those with chronic attention problems such as attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.
In his research article, James Danckert, PhD, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at the University of Waterloo, wrote that easily bored or boring people are not good at tasks that require sustained attention; and likely show the symptoms of ADHD.
Absence of mind.
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Boring person always does his or her own thing separately, and absurdly. When everyone wants to bring in new discussion, he tries to bring back the conversation on how the previous lost happened. A boring person doesn’t seem to belong to a particular environment, for an instance; he might take on singing when everybody desire silence.
According to a study carried out by Psychologist Mark Leary and colleagues; participants were asked to list and rate what could make others seem boring to them. What top the list is what the researchers referred to as ‘Negative egocentrism.’
“being negative and complaining, talking about one’s problems, displaying disinterest in others,” researchers explained.
Never use Empathy
Every boring person is bad on the empathy scale, boring person always fail to see from someone else’s point of view. He goes on and on about his achievements and his woes, not minding other people’s interest.
Ethan Anderson, a quora user shared this while answering a question about boring people:
You need to. You must. You’ll be sorry if you don’t. Do it for the kids. Do it because you love me, it’s the right thing to do, it’s time you did. Do it or you’re fired, or I’ll tell, or I’m leaving you.
For them, their world begins and ends at their front door and office, shared Chris Haigh who wrote on Lifehack about the lack of empathy by boring people.
Inability to describe one’s own emotion.
“Feelings are like compass points that help orient us,” Eastwood says. “If we lack emotional awareness, we lack the capacity to select appropriate targets for engagement with the world.”
Eastwood added that those easily prone to boredom are with alexithymia, a condition marked by an inability to identify one’s own emotions.
No sense of Humor
Boring people don’t have the cognitive flexibility to make people laugh; no sense of humor. Though he has interesting things to say in theory, but his communication skills are bad, because he doesn’t know how to paint a picture with words.
Lack of Interest or ‘ability of context switching’
Only an interesting person could start off a conversation from a particular topic and end at another topic; an interesting person can kick start and hold for long, a thought train. Boring people cannot, because they never know what to say next.
Soumadeep Mazumdar shared on quora that, boring people lack knowledge of any other field other than those necessary for them.
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Also a boring person lacks the ability to read from the correspondent that their interest in him or her is diminishing. For an instance she could talk about a particular topic all the time; which can easily get other people bored.