In continuation of the article ‘How to Turn your Trauma to Triumph‘
How do you block yourself from creating new expectations for your life?
One way to do that is to hang onto the past, the coulda’s and shoulda’s. What beliefs do you hold that allow you to stay stuck in your pain, grief and misery?
- “He/she should not have left me.”
- “I will never find another one like him/her.”
- “Something is wrong with me.”
- “I can never stand to be hurt this way again.”
- “I cannot stay with someone who had an affair.”
- “I cannot trust anyone.”
Read also: How to live the Empowered Life
- “God is a mean god. Why does God let good people die?”
- “If God does not believe in divorce and I don’t believe in divorce, why am I getting a divorce?”
- “Emotional pain is bad. I need to avoid relationships that might cause pain.”
- “I don’t need anyone in my life.”
Or, you can start changing your beliefs. Since you chose your original beliefs, probably unconsciously, you can now consciously choose new ones. Here are some suggestions for new beliefs that can better serve you.
- I have gone through so much emotional pain that I hurt physically and survived. Therefore, I can do it again (if I have too). I must be one strong person!
- What can I learn from this experience? How will I do it differently next time?
- Emotional pain is not terminal. I am a resilient and loving person who is not afraid of the future.
- Making good decisions comes from experience. And experience, well that comes from making bad decisions.
- I will choose who I want to trust and then I will trust them completely, knowing that emotional pain is NOT terminal.
- I do not have to be perfect to be lovable.
- I do not have to be right to be lovable.
- I can love myself and others, not for what or who they are, but for what we are becoming.
- I used to reject things that I saw no value in. Now, I accept that there is value in everyone.
- I do not need a relationship. I want a close relationship.
The ability to make good decisions comes from experience, and experience, well that comes from making bad decisions.
Are you willing to look at your “traumas” in a new way? Or, do you need to hang on to your hurt, pain and trauma? The choice is yours.