Love is a beautiful, yet complicated thing. Relationships can help us feel better by soothing our worries, or inflame them. Yes, it becomes complicated and worrisome, when relationship anxiety sets in, and steal the joy. Thus loosening the connection between us and our partner.
Relationship anxiety is love’s greatest killer.Anais Nin
It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you.
You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.
Feeling anxious at the beginning of a relationship is completely normal.
While dating – feeling stressed about the state of your romantic partnership isn’t at all unusual.
But, relationship anxiety takes things to a whole other level as you are prevented from connecting with your partner and people.
What then, is Relationship Anxiety?
It’s the direct consequences of feeling insecure in your relationship.
You worry about all kinds of things that could negatively impact or end your relationship.
With relationship anxiety, you live with constant levels of underlying anxiety about your relationship. Even, insignificant things could trigger waves of anxiety in you.
Relationship anxiety can take over thoughts and bleed into many areas of your life.
Could yours or your partner’s anxiety be putting your relationship at risk?
Followings are some signs anxiety is destroying your relationship, and what you can do to stop it.
You Are Too Attached to Your Partner.
With being paranoid, relationship anxiety makes you very needy i.e. you’re scared of having a few minutes of silence with your partner.
Your mind deceive you into believing the silence can snowball into a painful breakup.
Some instances where relationship anxiety makes you feel very needy include:
- Saying “I love you” at least once every 10 minutes because you worry your partner might forget so easily.
- expecting instant replies to messages e.g sms, mails.
Read also: Are You A Victim Or A Victor?
Asking for Reassurance.
As explained in the first point, being too needy is the enemy of relationship i.e. the constant need for assurance from your partner can make you doubt the things that don’t deserve to be doubted.
It’s completely good to ask for reassurance, but not when you constantly prompt your partner to be assured.
Less attuned to the needs of your partner.
Relationship anxiety does not only makes you less aware of your true needs in a given moment, but also, those of your partner.
When you feel overwhelmed, and worried about what could be happening
- You find it difficult to pay attention to what is happening i.e. your partner’s needs.
You Believe The End Is Nigh.
Even the most insignificant disagreement between you and your partner makes you think your relationship has reached its end.
You develop the fear, that, your relationship is about to go titanic. Even when the relationship does well, you can’t simply help yourself quit the nagging feeling that the relationship is about to sink with you on board.
Read also: Living With A Narcissist
You Always Go the Extra Mile to Please Your Partner.
Offering your time and attention to your partner isn’t a bad thing –
Yes, relationship jitters are normal; but irrational fears are not.
Relationship anxiety makes your manner of pleasing your partner, a terrible thing.
As you’re so afraid that your partner might lose interest in you, you place all your priorities on making your partner content with you.
You think your gestures are not enough, even when he or she doesn’t demand much.
This affects your reality -as you no longer able to balance things i.e. your career, hobbies, interest and the relationship.
You Question Your Compatibility.
In relationship, insignificant things do come up, and they could easily be overcome.
But, you don’t see them that way.
You see them as bombs that are about to explode.
Making you finding reasons why you and your partner are simply not compatible.
Read also: 9 Delusions of the Codependent Person
Anxiety can be triggered by nothing in particular – that’s one of the awful things about it.
So, in relationships. it will look for an anchor, hold and nurture it to make sense – regardless of how insignificant it is.
Always remind yourself, that just because you’re worried, that doesn’t mean there’s anything to worry about.