Whatever nice things were done for you as a child will never be repeated once you step into adulthood. Change isn’t optional nor bad, as people and things that make your life complete and meaningful come and go. Some people are scared of the responsibilities that accompany the adult life, probably because they are not easily alerted to situations that trigger their fear of growing up.
You cannot approach your fear directly; however, you can address the problem of being an adult by recognizing and challenging defenses and altering childish behavior patterns,” wrote Robert Firestone Ph.D., author of ‘How to Become More Adult and Successful in Your Life.’
From pressure of becoming successful, having children, choosing religion, securing happiness, relationship and lots more; only few are actually prepared for the challenges in adult life either via self-study or from what others told them. But, are there any key lessons you felt like no one tells you about adult life?
Empathy: The key to connecting people.
Empathy makes you a better person, even when you lack solutions to people’s problems. No one expects you to have solutions to every problem, what’s more important is to pay attention to understanding the other person’s feelings.
Nelson Wang, founder of CEOLifestyle.io, said:
Once, my sister called me to talk about a tough situation. I didn’t have an answer to the problem, so I said, “What do you want me to do about it?”
And she said, “Nothing, I just want you to listen to me, that’s all.”
Highest Achievers are not Necessarily the Smartest People.
I’ve often theorized to myself that it’s the illusion of IQ being a precursor to success that allows one to develop the mindset and confidence necessary to become successful during one’s formative years, without realizing that it’s really the psychological disposition, independent of innate intelligence, that is the main predictor of success, says Bari Bardhan, a Quora user.
Not your IQ score, but ability to take on challenges and a goal-oriented mindset are the major indicators of success.
Nice Personality Makes others react Negatively.
Be prepared to give up some of your niceness to avert consequences. Have you ever imagined why nasty friends that throw shade at each others have the best bond?
Catherine Thorstenberg, Pediatric RN, said:
One of the most shocking discoveries of my adult life was that some people are just more comfortable with mean personalities. they like tough, brash, hard-hitters. Nice people get on their nerves. They see them as dim-witted, submissive, or even fake.
Most Paths aren’t Linear.
Every single one of us is unique, because we all have our own path to take. A student once narrated the problem he came across while deciding his career, having seen some of his friends who opted for the job that seemed to him as hot cake.
When I was in college, I saw a lot of friends go into finance, Nelson said. That sounded like a great idea! I could make a lot of money right after college in investment banking, have a stable career and live the American dream.
One problem: I was terrible at finance. I even failed an introductory economics course.
So I thought about what my skill sets were and went into sales.
Read also: 6 Advantages of Sadness
Date at least a year before Proposing.
Stephen Martin, a Secular Buddhist wrote about his ordeal during and after marriage:
my ex-wife was a wonderful, loving person until we got married. She had been putting on an act. She was really the hose beast from hell. I should have waited long enough for her to let her guard down before proposing. How long would that have taken? A year? Two years? A decade?”
Friend People in Different Generations.
While you are young, you can learn from elderly people who are living life to fullness. Also, with younger friends, you will not lose everyone in your life as you age.
A little Courtesy Pays Big Dividends.
Be as nice to the janitor as you would your boss.
After snubbing everyone around you, don’t be surprised if help seems to hard to get when you needed it most.
Further readings:
Gould RL. The phases of adult life: a study in developmental psychology - Am J Psychiatry. 1972 Nov;129(5):521-31.
Dr. Robert Firestone. The Self Under Siege: A New Model for Differentiation
