Don’t be surprised that some phrases you often think are harmless can bring out resentment and other less-than-desirable sentiments in your kids. Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of ‘If I Have to Tell You One More Time’ noted that, “We have the best of intentions, but often we say things to our kids without thought to how it’s being perceived by the child.”
“Leave Me Alone!”
Trouble is, when you routinely tell your kids, “Don’t bother me” or “I’m busy,” they internalize that message, says Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D., founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies, in Huntsville, Arkansas.
“They begin to think there’s no point in talking to you because you’re always brushing them off.”
Aren’t you saying ‘You are so lazy’ to a kid that just frustrated you?
Any comment that makes it seem as though you’re not satisfied with her efforts can not only be discouraging to your child, but can also do the opposite of motivating her to try harder, Amy stated. Be clear about what you expect from your kid while saying ‘Try Again.’
If you’re talking about academics, “take note of times she does go the extra mile,” such as: “Wow! That extra time spent on your book report really shows!”