In the beginning of the year, we tend to count the loss and gains of previous year(s). We make list of achievements and failures, trying to know the reason why we failed, and as well, setting goals and resolutions for the new year.
It doesn’t take more than a month, for those rules and resolutions to be broken by us. According to a University of Scranton research, just 8% of People Achieve Their New Year’s Resolutions.
Maybe, you want to quit smoking in 2015, stay healthier or spend much time with family?
Some take resolutions for fun i.e. It’s kind of fun people play in January, but 92% tend to return to their tents after the first 30 days.
According to Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and Harvard Business School professor, these resolutions could actually be doing more harm than good. The problem is simple: We’re setting ourselves up for failure… and failure isn’t a very good motivator.
So, this post shares the secret reasons why resolutions don’t work for majority. Why others flourish in goal settings, and you didn’t. Is there any secret behind those who succeed?
Reasons Why New Year Resolutions fail
People usually make unrealistic resolutions which usually bring negative emotions and a lack of motivation when they are not realized. Setting unrealistic, highly aspirational goals is a quick way to guilt and failure.
Making a large list of Resolutions
To actually help yourself, you need to make your list a very short one. This will enable you to have proper control and to pay proper attention to them all.
And it’s more sensible to set “small, attainable goals throughout the year, rather than a singular, overwhelming goal,” according to psychologist Lynn Bufka.
Bufka added that,
it is not the extent of the change that matters, but rather the act of recognizing that lifestyle change is important and working toward it, one step at a time.”
Jonah Lehrer writes about a study done by Stanford University in his book How We Decide. The more goals the subjects made, the less likely they were to achieve them. It’s tempting to try everything on this list, but for best results, focus on your top three goals.
Just as earlier mentioned in the second paragraph: we make the list now e.g. ‘I want to stop clubbing this year’ but when invited to club in February, we put the list aside.
Read also: The Modern Way To Kill Your Relationship
Using guilt or fear as motivation
Whenever you feel bad about yourself after doing something, then, the less self efficacy you have, and that of course only makes you ashamed.
We often overestimate the difficulties of our goals, and this is what failure does. According to psychologist Guy Winch.
Whenever we fail to meet our goal, Winch advises we get back on out feet i.e. trying to be aware of the way that failure may distort our perception and self-image.